i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
