i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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