Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize