is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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