I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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