I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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