he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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