I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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