"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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