This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
