Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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