Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
