True but thats because hes a fetus.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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