So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
