I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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