I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
