If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
