it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
