We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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