It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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