Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize