remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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