i don't plan on having that self control this summer
My cat gives me a boner
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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