You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
