So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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