What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
