a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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