I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
