My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
