YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
