operation harelip BJ is a go
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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