Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
We need a shit load of segways right now
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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