I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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