I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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