Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
