This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize