somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
