Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
smell my finger.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
