you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
