don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ ๐๐ผ
Yโall did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.๐
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize