why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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