The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
