Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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