Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
