I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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