Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize