Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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