Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
operation harelip BJ is a go
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
