so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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