i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize