so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I think your dad took our porno
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
