Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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