so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You are the jesus of drinking
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize