Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
