Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
