So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
