I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
