2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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