so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
