Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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