this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
