hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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