He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
