yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
