cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
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