Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
