All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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