i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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