Too much gin, very little bucket
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
