What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
