Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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