would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
