do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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