pop tarts are not kleenex
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
