i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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