He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
