we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize