Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize