why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
