Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize